Death - "The Moment"

There are moments in life when we feel disappointed or dejected at having missed out on something... it could be ranging from something as trivial as watching our favorite player eclipse a major record live on TV to something which seems really important for the future course that our lives would take example a job opportunity.

The root cause of this being our belief that WE are the ones who are in charge of our lives and its WE who have the power to shape it the way we want. But then there are moments which make a complete mockery of it all.

Moments which leave us stunned

Moments which make us feel absolutely powerless

Moments which compel us to accept how foolish we have been in thinking that we are in control all the time and if we have lost control its our fault

Death is that Moment... which makes it all meaningless and at the same time gives meaning to Life. Because Life when viewed in isolation can muddle up our minds with a false sense of authority. Its Death which gives a perspective to Life, if we are ready to understand it.

The moment when you see a funeral pyre being lit being "The Moment" when Life makes the most sense. Because in the mirage created by the flames you can actually see LIFE... yes an entire Life gone by.

It is also The Moment when you realize that perhaps the only important thing in Life is to express your feelings to your near and dear ones.

Because if you don't seize The Moment when it presents itself, you might not get another opportunity ever again. And trust me this missed opportunity is perhaps the only thing worth regretting... coz you can regret it all your Life.

The Awesomeness of Nothingness...

Its been months now (3 months n 9 days to be precise) since I came back from MDI. And I guess d absence of regular blog posts during this period sends across an impression that I must ve been pretty busy all this while! :)

But nothing can be farther from the reality than this impression. This period has perhaps been the most "vela" period of my life, have done practically "Nothing" all this while.

Am sure activities such as eating, sleeping, sitting all day long in front of d Idiot Box like an Idiot, spamming on various Yahoo Groups or abusing d Social Networking platforms (Yes all 3 - FB, Twitter n Orkut) finally add up to nothing else but "Nothing".

Okk, On the sidelines I have also been involved in some pretty interesting discussions with the HR Team of my would be employer. And have spent decent amount of time trying to decipher the encrypted messages embedded in their replies, which usually is a one liner "We will revert back soon/shortly".

But the fact that I've failed and that too miserably at deciphering the meaning of simple words like "soon" & "shortly" means all d time spent drafting mails, plotting phone calls, startegising 4 d next round of mails/phone calls also adds up to nothing else but "Nothing".

At times I feel, all the hours spent dreaming about the good ole days spent at MDI must surely add up to something ? Not exactly, right ?

So it all finally adds up to "Nothing"... pretty depressing... especially when you consider am a freshly minted MBA - a "Change Master" in MDI parlance... raring to go all out and change the Corporate world and lives of its denizens.

But then to console my self I look at all that has happened in the world around me in this period... just sample these...

Manmohan Singh was sworn in as the PM (1st one to do so after Jawaharlal Nehru)
Deccan Chargers won d IPL
BJP is done with 1 round of Letter Writing competition
Ronaldo & Kaka are all set to join Real Madrid
No tantrums thrown by Mamta didi yet
Pakistan won d World T20
Michael Jackson is dead
Nadan Nilekani is all set to become the CIO of India
Liberhan Comission has submitted its report on Babri Masjid demolition
The Bandra Worli Sea Link is finally functional

And what have I been upto all this while... NOTHING!! Its Awesome, isn't it? :)

Strange feeling...

So MDI is finally over for me... had a memorable Convocation ceremony on the 18th March (You can read about it here )

After a long night of packing my stuff, I bid adieu to my gorgeous campus. Lots of friends were there to bid farewell and it was an emotionally overwhelming moment... tried to keep my emotions in check but failed miserably.

Can't explain the feeling in words but it almost felt like I was leaving home never to return back.

On my return trip to Mumbai had Ronak for company... Life had a come a full circle in more ways than one - since Ronak was also there with me 2 years back when I left Mumbai for MDI.

All along the journey numerous moments & incidents from my Life at MDI kept flashing in my head. There was also a sense of disappointment since there were so many people whom I wanted to personally thank once before leaving but couldnt for various reasons (majorly my lazy nature :| ) ...

Jhaji for his scrumptuous samosas and chaai besides all the relaxing chats I had with him

Vijay bhaiyaa for serving us the mess food for 2 yrs...many a times long after the official mess timings

Many faculty members whom I respected and loved... for what they taught both inside as well as outside the classroom, some for the way they cared for me

and Lots of friends... for making d last 2 yrs so memorable & many a times tolerating/ignoring me :)

But guesss I ve missed out on this...

Finally when the time came to alight from the train... I felt really strange... I was back @ Bombay... My city... My home... but I wasn't happy or overjoyed... at the successful culmination of what has been a long cherished journey both for me as well as my family.

I was wondering... Why is it that I don't have a return ticket to MDI with me this time around ?

I am still wondering! :|

Real Loss...

Just finished "Good Will Hunting" a really moving story. Besides many other things there's one line which stuck with me well after the movie was over. The line spoken by Robin William in the movie is:

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself

Post the movie... ended up booking my return ticket to Mumbai. 18th is the Convocation Day and 19th March would be The Day when I pack my stuff and head back home bringing the b-school life to a formal closure.

As I saw my credit card details getting accepted could sense the feeling of Real Loss creeping through my nerves. Guess 19th March is going to be the day when I come face to face with the feeling of Real Loss... its bound to be cause I've realized I love this god damn b-school life more than I love myself.

I wish time stands still... :|

Dawn of reality...

Early morning went to nearby Gurgaon bus depot to see off one of my very special fellow ManDevIans whom I fondly call "Sanskriti Maatey".

And as I bid her goodbye could sense she was about to breakdown, which she eventually did as we drove next to her bus for some distance. Though daybreak was still an hour or so away that particular moment ushered the dawn for me... the dawn of reality.

Reality which I have been trying to run away from for so many days now.

Reality which I know I would not be able to handle for quite some time.

That moment hit me real bad and I couldn't stop getting overwhelmed by emotions. And it was bound to happen since Maatey is 1 person on campus with whom I had a strong emotional connect.

Even before we joined MDI, just through the mails that we exchanged I could sense that she would be a really colorful and interesting person to interact with.Gradually I found that we share the same upbringing, similar value system and zest for life. I saw a part of myself in her. But then only a part it was, because it is too difficult to be Maatey.

And this I can say with great deal of confidence because in today's world its difficult to find a person as pure as she is. Honest, pure, selfless, sensitive, loving and caring person that she is I didnt spot even a hint of selfish or mean streak in her. And that has endeared her to me the most. Perhaps thats the case with most people who have been lucky enough to have her as a part of their lives.

Besides I feel it was fitting that someone so special like Maatey has made me realise that this "one long night of revelry" (as I had mentioned in my earlier post here) is finally coming to an end now.

The dawn of a new life beckons...

Thank you maatey for all the wonderful memories that you have created for me!

PS: Dawn of reality also means that I will have to start packing my stuff soon :|

Some New Experiences - Football, Twitter, Barcamp & Classical Music

Of late afternoons have been well spent playing cricket with fellow ManDevIans on the lush green fields of MDI. A luxury I would definitely miss once out of MDI. Today as we were about to end another bunch of friends had descended on the field for a round of football.

Had a strong impulse to try my hand or rather foot at football. It was my first ever attempt at Football @ MDI and I loved it. Though some tackles got scary at times and was tentative all throughout I think I will give it a try couple more times. Besides unlike Cricket it involves lot of running so would help lose a couple of kilos too which I've been trying hard ;)

Dinner was followed by a movie "Scent of a Woman". An OKish script but brilliant acting by Al Pacino. And he made some very poignant remarks about leadership in the climax which I kinda feel needs to be reiterated time and again to keep people and institutions focused.

Post that during random net surfing ended up creating a Twitter account. You can now find me on twitter here. Am a big fan of Social Networking and take pride in using Orkut and Facebook very actively. For next few days perhaps would try and get comfortable with tweeting. Also found a very interesting website to find directions to any place.

Have some fairly new things lined up for the weekend too...

Will be attending Barcamp Delhi 6th Edition which will be hosted @ MDI over the weekend. On sunday will do some Delhi darshan during the day and attend a SPICMACAY event in the evening where Pt.Ravishankar and Anoushka Shankar would be performing.

Am quite liking these new developments and the new experiences they are/would be offering.

Adios! :)