People, Trust, Relationships!!

In all my relationships I start with an implicit assumption that a person is to be trusted unless he/she proves to be unworthy of it.

In certain cases I made exception and actually trusted people who I might have felt were not worthy enough. And then....

they took no steps but I still took two steps at a time to win them over.

they had bloated egos but I killed my own to win them over.

they provoked me time and again but I overlooked it all to win them over.

they had in fact made it evident right at the start that they don't trust/like me but still I tried to win them over.

..... and I did this with sound faith in the goodness of being that I will be able to win their trust over if not them entirely.

But I guess....

I was naive
I was unreal
I was overly optimistic
I was being too good than what they actually deserved

.... as I learned a harsh lesson in relationship management today. I was proved wrong and I realized that I perhaps need to apply my assumption more carefully henceforth.

I fear that I will perhaps never be the same ever again now .... and this is a cause of great concern for me for I now run the risk of not applying my assumption when it ought to be and applying when it ought not.

I pray to the lord almighty to bless me with sound wisdom and take care of these fears...
.... and I surely trust him for that and this is not an assumption that I am making!!

Emptiness, Nothingness, Tiredness...

Last week was easily one of the most intense weeks of my life. I got so involved with each and every minute thing that now I am not able to come to terms with the fact that its all over. After the initial euphoria of successful completion of tasks planned for many months many hours, a strange feeling has engulfed me since morning.

I wish last week had continued forever
The clock stopped ticking and didn't move ever
I wish I could re-say every word that was said
And if I could replay every act in my head

But thats not going to be

I am dazed
I am numbed

Life has a huge void and all around I can only sense emptiness
Feels as if I am drowning in a deepening sea of nothingness
No gumption to fire myself again for any goal due to acute tiredness

Nothing to do nowhere to go, its a real odd day
Alone, Exiled, Sombre, Melancholy, its really a sad day

I just feel like throwing in the towel today
I just feel like throwing in the towel today!

Ciao!!

My love affair with MDI ... renewed!! :)

On an arbit morning few days back .... the campus wore a "wet n fresh" look after a rather long spell of rains ... me and my friend Sumanth who too is damn passionate about photography .... went around the campus with our cameras. And since we had nothing else to do that day we took our time looking at the campus the way no one else had till date.

And here I am with the proofs of that gorgeous day when I pretty much renewed my love affair with MDI!! :)

Enjoy!!

Rain Rain please don't go away! :)

When we were kids we used to recite a nursery rhyme:

Rain Rain Go Away
Come Again Another Day
Little Johnny Wants to Play!!

But many years down the line at this stage of life when it rained a few days back @ Gurgaon in middle of Summers I changed that nursery rhyme to suit my feelings (though the last line kind of proves that I am no good at poetry :) )

Rain Rain please don't go away
Keep falling through the day
It Makes me feel as if I am in Bombay!! :))

Actually like everyone else here, even I was expecting sweltering heat during the month of May i.e. the time when summer is usually at its peak in this part of the world. But of late surprisingly the weather has been overtly kind to us. Every other day we have a "aandhii" i.e. storm (which fills my room with loads of dust :( ) and then rain which forces the mercury down in a big way. These rains in midst of a summer which was beginning to hot up have been a real pleasant surprise.

The other day it rained just after I had finished my breakfast and since I am "working from home" I had the liberty to go out there and enjoy the rain by going on a walk around the campus getting completely drenched. This while the other summer interns staying @ Change Masters were all dressed up in formals waiting for the rain to stop so that they could go to work ;)

For the past few days we have had rains every evening and yesterday we had pretty heavy rains. Thanks to the overnight rain the weather today morning was reminiscent of Bombay during monsoon season. Overcast skies giving a gloomy feel. The wet and cold air. Wet buildings, wet roads, wet trees with leaves looking bright green after being washed by the continuous rains. Slight drizzle threatening to transform into a full fledged shower. Ahhh so so beautiful ... the kind of weather I have fallen in love with after having stayed for 20 odd years @ Bombay!

The only glitch being that here you dont get "Bhuttaa" on the road side nor can you enjoy a plate of "hot pakodas/vada paav/samosa pav" with "masala chaai", to enjoy this weather to the fullest! :(

But anyways I dont mind this break from summers at all .... may this weather continue for a couple more months.... if not for anything else at least for making me feel as if am back in Bombay! :)

Social Networking site proves "Yeh Duniya Gol Hai"!! :)

Don't believe me?? The other day while random "orkutting" came across a scrap from someone in one of my friends scrapbooks who remotely resembled one of my long lost friends. So I just dropped a scrap to him and here's how the story went thereon:

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Me:
I hope you are the same ole Mr.XYZ ...my classmate from IES !! if u r .. then lemme ask u cple of questions ... where ve u been dude ... me n parag had been wondering where u r nowadays!! the last time we met was when u came to parag place in yr sumo and dropped me at my place!! also is the kid in the album ... junior Mr.XYZ ???
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My Friend:
Bingo !!! i am the same Mr.XYZ...I have been travelling a lot hence havent been able to catch up with you guys...currently i m in Delhi & doing very good by god's grace...the kid in the album is my nephew... :-)
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Me:
bhai i m in gurgaon :) ... completed first year of my MBA at MDI Gurgaon ..... right now summer internship on in Gurgaon itself!!where r u based in delhi ????
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My Friend:
Buddy, i m in Gurgaon as well...My office is in Infinity towers opp.ship building, DLF phase II... lets catch up if possible......
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Me:
haaahaaahaaaaaa ... guess what ...my office is opposite the ship building too .... right behind Genpact .... Building No.8 mein ... ........ yeh duniya gol hai bhaaai!!
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My Friend:
Buddy even i am in building no.8. You have my number now, give me a call. I m in office generally by 7 PM....
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Me:
haaaaaaahaahaaaaaa....... i hope the coincidences end here!! ...
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And this is how thanks to Orkut I found one of my friends whom I hadn't been able to trace since a couple of years & that too with the help of few scraps in a couple of days time.

What more we realized that he and I goto work in the same building each day. Its a small world which we live in after all. :)

Orkut Roxx!! :)